Prismatic · Gallery

The doctor is in.

Long, painful final defense that I somehow managed to bullshit my way through the Q/A portion of. Now it's death of a thousand papers as I finish the edits and tracking forms.

I've been busy. Tomorrow is my final defense for my dissertation work; I'm scared as hell.

Let's get the trivial stuff out of the way first.

Academic - I defend tomorrow. Then a few days of tweaking the dissertation and putting things in order before I leave, no employment prospects in sight.

Social - WoW: Seriously considering taking time off if not flat-out canceling the account. Amber - I hope to have fun with it next week once I can start focusing on it again. Personnel up here - I'm not actively trying to hide from you; it's just working out that way.

Personal - Going very rapidly insane owing to the many things going on around me. Sleep is one of those distant memories, and staying in any mood other than 'Oh shit' for more than 10 minutes hasn't happened in a month.

I'll be so damn happy - and so very scared - when this is over. Happy because it means I can stop mentally abusing myself and take time to breathe, sleep and relax; scared because the dissertation being over means it's time for that real world that's rumored to exist - the one I don't have near as much control over as I do my surroundings here.

*goes back to editing Powerpoint for the fifth time today, trying to get everything to fit*

Please take a few moment to go through both of these exercises for me. Feel free to leave it anonymous if you wish.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=shadowstrider

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=shadowstrider

First, in response to a tag I got.

8 Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. Get a degree in something that was my idea.
2. Come to terms with the fact that I will be a lifelong bachelor OR find the person that makes that fact a lie.
3. Make a difference in the world at large.
4. Get out and see the world (two continents so far).
5. Have a successful professional stage career, no matter how brief.
6. Be respected for who I am and not for what I can do for people.
7. Have an extended period of life (at least six months) where I do what I want, when I want, because I can.
8. Understand myself and figure out why I'm as screwed up as I am.

7 Things I Can Do:
1. Act.
2. Sing.
3. Dance (some).
4. Listen.
5. Adjust delicate scientific equipment with (the power of my mind / a hammer).
6. "Massage" data (although I know on occasion it's been felony assault and battery).
7. Dream.

7 Often Repeated Words:
1. No.
2. When?
3. Late.
4. Tired.
5. Damn.
6. How?
7. Plot.

11 Traits I Look In The Opposite Sex:
1. A warm and caring personality.
2. A good and open mind.
3. A good sense of humor.
4. Knowing what they want out of life.
5. Honest and trustworthy.
6. Willing to explore their emotions.
7. Willingness to try new things in life.
8. Not overly driven by "the way things are".
9. Always trying to make things "the way they could/should be".
10. Knowledge of self, and the drive to continually improve that.
11. Physically attractive.

7 Dirty Little Secrets/Confessions (I believe these to be a bit of both)
1. Most of these last seven years of school have come about because I wanted to make other people happy.
2. I've never been on a date or had a girlfriend in the romantic sense of the word.
3. I've only had one job in the last ten years where I wasn't working with one of my parents or my aunt.
4. I'll take control of as many of the events affecting my life as I can so that when they blow up on me, I can at least suffer knowing it's my own damn fault.
5. Despite the fact that I'm the theatre person of the Houghton crowd I run with, I do the least acting of all of them.
6. I have proven that one can function for extended periods of time on two hours of sleep a night.
7. I personally find it hilarious to watch what people do when you park your car, which looks like an unmarked police vehicle, in a spot where cops will try to trap speeders and stick a 20-ounce pop bottle out your window...

I tag... cherijo, theratbert1999, lady_shada, faolanamberwolf and pxocean. And now,...

( Cut for sanity of friends pages... )

Well, I have received a request to update my LiveJournal. Far be it from me to deny my viewing audience of what's going on in my oh-so-exciting and socially fulfilling life.

( Cut for the safety of friends lists. )

Current Mood:	bitchy
Current Music:	This Is The Moment - Jekyll and Hyde

Ok. I've gotten past the point of utter wallowing in self-pity and hatred (self or otherwise) that I was at on Wednesday. I'm still contemplating leaving and never coming back to this oh-so-charming place more strongly than I ever have before (to the point that I'm seriously considering refusing to go to Bond Falls this afternoon like I had planned so as to remove the temptation to drive to Seattle), but that's better than I was on Wednesday. Thanks for the feedback from people.

As requested by diablose:

Party Pictures

It's been entirely too long since I had a substantive update. Granted, that's because the substance of life hadn't been changing much. Even so, it's long past time for me to get back to this journal.

Fall 2004 - A full-time research semester. For those of you that don't remember what's going on with my academic life, I'm working towards a doctorate in chemical engineering (hoping to be done by April 2006), with my research geared towards thermally conductive polymers for use in fuel cell applications. Things were reasonably calm and collected, and I had a couple of undergraduates helping me get work done. Not much happened here in the social scene because, well, this is Houghton.

Spring 2005 - Had two classes this semester. Transport, a class I'm retaking because the professor doesn't think I know the material well enough (three successful exams and a passed qualifier not withstanding) and Design of Experiments (mathematical optimization of experimental design). Passed both classes and am officially taking only research credits from now until the end. Had 10 undergraduates working with me this semester. Got a lot of work done on their projects, but my work kind of suffered because I had to spend so much time working on their stuff. All in all, fun. But it means I'm going to have to work harder in Summer 2005.

Summer 2005 - Shaping up to be fun. I have 2 major projects going and 5 undergraduates to help me get the work done while I write up the papers associated with them. I have to actually start writing my dissertation now if I want to be defending in February. Where all that time went, I'll never know.

Overall social scene - not much. Back in Fall 2004 I directed a show for Student Theatre Association that, despite having to break through some heavy prejudices to get the job, actually came off very well. A link to the video of the performance can be found at http://zoomtard.com/download.php?view.53 for anyone that wants to take a look at it. I really need to get back into theatre again after grad school - Cabaret was so much fun back in Spring 2004, and directing this crew of students that (mostly) cared and wanted to make the show go off well was therapeutic. The thing that amazes me about that show was that half of our total practices (and 2/3 of our full-cast ones) came during dress rehearsal week. And most of the blocking and delivery was worked out by the cast themselves.

In the romance arena, I'm resigning myself to the fact that bachelorhood seems very much in the cards for me despite my myriad efforts. I'm not going to be something I'm not to get ahead in that arena. I've done too much of that in other places and it's never worked out well. If I'm going to lie to people, I'll do it on stage where it's called "playing the part" and is thus acceptable.

If there's other details that people want to know about, leave me a message and I'll get back to you on it. In the meantime, there's a meme I want to put out in the open and then a bunch more stuff behind LJ cuts.

The Meme

01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal.

( Additional quiz-type stuff... )

( And the lyrics that go with the title... )